Fuck Yeah Original Becky

Sarah has nothing on Lecy

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Original Becky cannot believe she gave up an entire weekend to help Darlene curate her dumb box collection. Whatever modern art is, Original Becky certainly isn’t buying any of it, thank you very much! But the day suddenly got more interesting when in their seemingly endless process of sorting, folding, and marking with Sharpies, the sisters uncovered a mysterious love letter addressed to Dan and signed simply with a Z. Had Dad been involved in some sort of self-styled left-wing urban militant group? Or were the unsettling vibes they always felt when Dad’s friend Ziggy came for a visit indicative of something more between them? It was a mystery better left in the past, but Original Becky had a strong suspicion that Darlene had just tricked her into helping her move. 

Original Becky cannot believe she gave up an entire weekend to help Darlene curate her dumb box collection. Whatever modern art is, Original Becky certainly isn’t buying any of it, thank you very much! But the day suddenly got more interesting when in their seemingly endless process of sorting, folding, and marking with Sharpies, the sisters uncovered a mysterious love letter addressed to Dan and signed simply with a Z. Had Dad been involved in some sort of self-styled left-wing urban militant group? Or were the unsettling vibes they always felt when Dad’s friend Ziggy came for a visit indicative of something more between them? It was a mystery better left in the past, but Original Becky had a strong suspicion that Darlene had just tricked her into helping her move. 

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theghostofsincara-deactivated20 asked: MARK IS DEAD.

We don’t know what you’re talking about.

(If Roseanne’s last season taught us anything, it was that denial is one powerful coping mechanism. Original Becky’s has lasted for 10 years.)

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hfgl asked: It's been way too long. A new post, please!

Original Becky tends to hibernate underneath her oversized sweaters during the winter months, but she’s ready to come back out into the outdoors. Presumably to complain about the humidity and Dad’s novelty BBQ apron.

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carlsaganballerina asked: Original Becky. My dad REALLY hates you. Whenever you come on screen he just immediately sighs and tell me to change the channel. You ruined Roseanne. You're the reason she is the insane tub she is.

Bolting to Minneapolis and getting married young might have shaved a few years off of Mother’s life, but make no mistake, it made no difference whatsoever on any political aspirations she might currently have. We can assure you all those originally sprang from her brief stint as Norma Rae at Wellman’s Plastics.

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Anonymous asked: for YEARS i have argued with my friends that the original becky, miss lecy goranson, is without question the most stunningly beautiful female on this or any planet. hand freakin down!!! i would give everything i have just to have one drink with this goddess!!! how does one live with such beauty? she must have every man she sees throwing himself at her i would imagine!! a true 20 on a 1-10 scale! jsut pure beauty!!! thank you for being alive to making members of the opposite sex happy to be alive

Original Becky is of course flattered, but Mark Healy is all the man she’ll ever need. You know he has a motorcycle. A working one.

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Well that’s just IT. Original Becky had been waiting for the right opportunity to show off the superpower she had developed last week while on a field trip to Lanford’s nuclear power plant, and if Dad and Darlene forgetting to bring her home a burger from Hardee’s wasn’t the perfect moment to blast the two of them out onto the outdoor patio with a beam of mustard-colored concussive force that comes from her eyeballs, when the hell would it be?

Well that’s just IT. Original Becky had been waiting for the right opportunity to show off the superpower she had developed last week while on a field trip to Lanford’s nuclear power plant, and if Dad and Darlene forgetting to bring her home a burger from Hardee’s wasn’t the perfect moment to blast the two of them out onto the outdoor patio with a beam of mustard-colored concussive force that comes from her eyeballs, when the hell would it be?

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It’s a little known Connor family secret that the best time to ask to borrow the car is when Mother is warping.

It’s a little known Connor family secret that the best time to ask to borrow the car is when Mother is warping.

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3 generations of Harris women sat together on one slowly sinking couch and Original Becky couldn’t ignore the facts any longer. She could maybe get out of Lanford, but she was never going to be able to avoid the tangerine slacks. She sighed heavily and went up to her room where she proceeded to put on 3-4 more pairs of socks. For warmth and style.

3 generations of Harris women sat together on one slowly sinking couch and Original Becky couldn’t ignore the facts any longer. She could maybe get out of Lanford, but she was never going to be able to avoid the tangerine slacks. She sighed heavily and went up to her room where she proceeded to put on 3-4 more pairs of socks. For warmth and style.

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Original Becky has been power clashing longer than Jack Donaghy, but not quite as long as China and North Korea.

Original Becky has been power clashing longer than Jack Donaghy, but not quite as long as China and North Korea.

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Mother and Dad wouldn’t spring for a new radio, but Original Becky is resourceful. She can use Darlene’s single tendril of hair as an antenna. Please God, PLEASE let her be the thirteenth caller.

Mother and Dad wouldn’t spring for a new radio, but Original Becky is resourceful. She can use Darlene’s single tendril of hair as an antenna. Please God, PLEASE let her be the thirteenth caller.